Full of Grace
by Storm O
Summary: Based on the original way that the GI Joe movie was scripted.


O's Disclaimer: General disclaimers apply. I don't own any rights to GI Joe. I also don't know where the location of Joe HQ actually was in the cartoon, but somewhere I read it was around Utah, so I used that location.

O's A/N: A more serious fic, but I needed to work through some personal grief. The date of October 29th is a personal date of remembrance. I chose this song because it has many different meanings. It's all in how you interpret it. For me, it means a loss of a loved one and the sinking, lonely feeling you have when they are gone. But, it also means that life goes on, and in order to fully love or appreciate life, you must carry on – full of grace and gratitude for the other things in life.

I know this is getting long, but I felt that I needed to add a second disclaimer here. After I wrote this, it occurred to me that there have been several death and tragic-themed fics recently, which maybe contributed to my "need" to write this. No intentional infringement to anyone who thinks that this is similar to their or anyone else's work.

**Full of Grace**

Date: October 29, Location: somewhere in Utah 

A tall, slender figure approached the desolate battlefield. Many painful memories lay just ahead of her in a location that claimed the life of a fellow soldier. There were still plenty of ruins lying around the site. Pieces of metal and gears littered the bare, open field, although most of the pieces were partially buried by dirt and sand. The crisp, autumn air had an ominous feel to it, and with the change of the season, the grass and weeds were starting to turn brown and die, preparing for winter's grip. She pulled her scarf tighter as the chilly October air cut through her, a brutal reminder that winter was right around the corner.

Outwardly, she walked with all the pride associated with being a soldier, but inwardly, her heart was heavy with sadness and loneliness. She headed straight to the spot where her heart seemingly died a few years ago on this date. She knew this path by heart, and with each step, she felt her lungs gasp for air. For the past five years, she had made this very special visit. Every other visitation occurred at his gravesite in Arlington National Cemetery, but on this date, she always made a point to make her annual voyage here; the day that her world crashed down around her.

She came to the faded American flag and white plastic cross marker that she had placed here last year. In her hand, she held a new cross and flag, symbolizing that the man, who died here, died for his country. Tears welled up in her eyes and began to fall on the ground below her, just as they did five years ago. She knelt on the ground, removed the old, tattered flag and weathered marker, and replaced them with fresh, new ones.

"My love," she whispered, "it's been too long. I've come here to this place again. I know your body isn't here, but I carry this feeling that a part of you is here too." Her voice cracked, but she fought back the tears. "I brought you a new marker. Maybe it's a silly fetish, but it makes me feel better. I have been working a lot, monitoring a new batch of terrorists. Nothing that we haven't seen before, but they are being reckless and I question their sanity. I'm still strictly working in intelligence. It keeps me busy and preoccupied." She lost her battle and a fresh wave of tears overcame her and silenced her raspy voice. _Where did the time go_?

It seemed like only yesterday when they laid his body to rest with proper military honors, although her body, mind, and soul was numb during most of the service. She didn't remember the firing party but remembered Dash and Allie gripping her hands, keeping her from sinking to the ground. She remembered the sadness she felt as the bugler played "Taps" and the heartache of watching the burial flag be presented to his mother.

A hand clasped her shoulder, startling her out of her reverie. She glanced up to see a sad but friendly face, one that she hadn't seen for several years. At first, horror seized her as she had a flashback to five years ago when this same hand grasped her shoulder after the man she loved died in her arms. Shaking the tragic memory from her head, she managed a half-smile and rose to her feet. He gripped her hand as she said her goodbyes to the spot where the man that she loved died for his country, taking a part of her with him as well.

On the way back to her parked car, the man said, "I thought I might find you here today. I knew someone visited this place by the articles of commemoration. I knew it had to be you."

"You come here too?" She asked, with a note of shock in her voice.

"I flew over this site a few years ago. The memories came flooding back. Last year, I was in the area so I stopped. You must have already been here and gone. The flag and marker were new. I made it a point to stop by today, a little earlier, to see if I could catch you." The man paused and then continued with a slight smile, "You're a hard lady to keep track of, Red."

She smiled and responded, "I'm glad you stopped, Sir. I have been keeping busy. He would be happy to know..." Her voice trailed off, and she couldn't finish her thought.

General Hawk said, "You shouldn't have to visit him alone, Shana. However, maybe you would rather be alone. You know you can call me anytime. I would certainly accompany you, here or at Arlington."

She composed herself and replied, "Thank you, Sir. Occasionally, I go with Dash and Allie to the gravesite. I guess I would just rather be alone with my thoughts though."

Hawk nodded his understanding and watched the sorrow build in her eyes. He knew how hard this had to be on her. She had retreated like a hermit for months after Conrad's death, and then the disbandment of the Joes scattered the team.

Neither the general nor the sergeant spoke as they stood in the October sunshine, partially sheltered from the wind by the vehicle. Suddenly, an unexpected blast of warm air circled around them and blew across their faces, causing them to catch their breath. Moments later, she moved away from Hawk, gazed up to the heavens, and then reached for the driver's door handle. "You felt it too?" Hawk inquired, thinking that what he felt wasn't real; it couldn't be real. The temperature was only hovering around freezing.

"I always do. That's his way of saying _thanks for coming and remembering_," she answered, visibly more calm than earlier. "Thanks for stopping by, Clay. I know it would mean a lot to Conrad. It means a lot to me." She hesitated but continued, "I have to go now, but the next time I'm in DC, I promise I'll look you up." She climbed into her car and started the engine. As she pulled away, she cast a glance at the lone marker and American flag, waving in the breeze. "Goodbye, my love," she whispered and headed back to the highway.

Hawk watched her drive away. When she was out of sight, he turned back to the vacant battlefield and slowly returned to the spot where one of his soldiers had paid the ultimate price.


End file.
